Why, hello there, blogosphere. It has been many moons since I have seen you last.
But for real, it really has been quite a hiatus I have taken since my last post in June. So. Much. Has. Happened.
So, I will be posting about the last few months in “Parts”. This first part will describe how I felt when I was hired at a new job and moved back to my hometown of KCMO.
I had started a draft of a post, so I will paste it below:
“As the last day of my first-ever “big girl” job comes to a close, I am reminded of all the amazing and interesting people I have met over the past year. Part of being a journalist includes constantly meeting new people with cool background stories to tell, if only someone would listen. Everyone has their own unique story, and I have learned some amazing stories in my time as a journalist, not only here, but in my high school and college journalism experiences as well.
Though I am about to start a new career path, one that doesn’t involve me having the opportunity to interview neat people on a daily basis, I know I will be able to carry these stories with me in my memory wherever I go. I hope that I will continue to be able to learn peoples’ stories throughout my life, but I won’t be able to publish them, which makes me a little sad.
That being said, I am still very excited to see where the next chapter of my life takes me. I know I will continue to meet people and learn where they come from, no matter where I go, and who knows? Maybe someday I will get back into writing for a living.”
It is somewhat bittersweet to read these words, as I remember typing them with such gusto and excitement to see what was ahead for me.
Boy, was I unprepared for what happened next.
I moved back in with my mom towards the end of June. At age 23, I was living at home once again. I knew this was temporary, but it still felt somewhat pathetic. I couldn’t wait to start my job the following month, so what was one month of living at home going to matter?
Throughout my month of anticipation, I also began to work part-time at a bar in the area. I was excited to be making new friends in the area and to finally be hanging out with more people my age! It was a great way for me to make extra money while also having fun!
Truth is, by the end of that job, I realized that it is NEVER a good idea to mix employment and family. This is a lesson I thought I had learned once before, but apparently needed a refresher. To make a long story short, many things were lost in translation, feelings were hurt, and it was damaging to the relationship.
Upon quitting said bar job, I had begun employment at my new big-girl job. I will not disclose the company name or the location, but I will say that it was definitely a new experience. The office I worked in was absolutely silent most of the time, I was constantly walking on pins and needles, and I was very afraid to be myself. But, it was a job, and the benefits were outstanding. In today’s world, that was truly all I thought that mattered, so I worked really hard and tried to fit in.
Let’s be real. Me, a very outgoing, friendly, talkative-yet-professional person, fitting in to that setting, a silent, traditional, constantly-monitoring-yourself office? Yeah. Let’s just say that didn’t last very long.
For the first month, I arrived at the office feeling nervous about the day ahead of me, hoping I wouldn’t do or say anything wrong. Every day I was nervous about my performance and how I was doing, and I was afraid to talk to anyone, even my trainer. In case you were wondering, those are signs that you have a bad job. At the time, I didn’t know this. I thought everything would resolve itself, I thought this was normal when one began a career, and I figured that after a couple of months I would begin to fit in with the cookie-cutter personalities and their over-the-top standards.
I did not.
Sorry kids, but that’s all I’m going to say for now. Want to know what happens next? You’re going to have to wait to read my next post! 😛