Hello, fellow bloggers, I’m back! At least that’s the plan…it’s been quite awhile since I last blogged. So, quick re-cap:
1. After my grandmother passed away, it was kind of a hard time. Living here in Kansas, very close to where she grew up and grew her roots, I was (and still am) often reminded of her absence.
2. I started a weight loss journey called 21 Day Fix Extreme and actually succeeded! For that time…I made a transformation that I could notice, and I was super proud of myself knowing that I stuck with it for 3 weeks without fail! It was so motivating, yet…somehow didn’t last. And the weight struggle continued..
2. Mid-July, I was let go, once again, from a job I had for less than a year. I think it hit me hard because it was a job I liked, with people I really liked. In the end, though, it really wasn’t the best fit for me. They didn’t have the funds or room for a position for me in that company, and I was the youngest person in the office, so it was not a place for me to flourish and make personal relationships whatsoever. I think it happened for the best, but it was still pretty awful to realize that once again, for the second time in a row, I was without a job right around my birthday, and I was turning a quarter-century old. Cue the movie scene of that young girl walking in the cold, pouring rain, no umbrella…yeah, you get the picture. Disheartening to say the least.
3. Never fear, I found a new job!!! Woo! And this time it was BEFORE my birthday! Don’t want to reveal TOO much about it, but let’s just say that I found a company that had a TON more people my own age, a larger office, opportunity for advancement, etc. Not exactly my dream job, but I met some new friends and it has been pretty good!
Now, fast-forward to today. I have been in my job for a couple of months, only out of training for a little over one month. My apartment lease with my boyfriend starts on Dec. 1, and we are very excited! Still, I find myself not very happy with myself.
I can’t really explain in words why I have so much trouble with dieting. Maybe it’s just because I, like most human beings, just really enjoy food? But that obviously can’t just be it. Maybe that combined with a slow-ish metabolism, the fact that I crave sweets and fatty foods quite often, and the fact that I just don’t have that great of self-control apparently. Yeah, that probably explains it.
It’s really time that I change that, though, I am getting ready to be in a friend’s weddin and I am HORRIFIED at myself. I am currently at the heaviest I have ever been, and I am honestly miserable.
I realize I have posted like this before, made declarations to devote myself to a healthier lifestyle and that I am “changing for the better,” what have you.
Well, now I REALLY mean it.
I am human, however. Maybe this timeI should go ino my journey realizing tht I will make mistakes, I will fall, and I will have bad days.
But I also have a support system that will help me.
That’s where you come in, my friends.
Some days will be easier than others for me to eat better and focus on my workouts. Some days will NOT. On those days, I ask those of you who know me to PLEASE offer words of encouragement and advice. It wold be most appreciated.
Now, some of you may be wondering, why on earth did she name this post ‘Back to the future’?
The answer is simple: It is time for me to get BACK in the habit of preserving myself, my health, my well-being, for the FUTURE. The future is unknown and not promised; but I can tell you that I will look back on these 4 years of weight loss struggle, and I will feel shame and guilt. I will realize that I should have been MUCH more attentive to my health and my well-being, and that I should have taken care of ME.
It’s never too late.